Why Would God Love A Misfit Like Me?

by David J. Stewart | October 2019

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Psalms 8:3-5, “When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.”

       I often humbly wonder to myself, “Why would God love somebody like me?” I am just a clump of clay from the earth. I am just a sinner. There is nothing good about me except Jesus, Whose Holy Spirit lives in me (Romans 8:9). My chronic neck pain makes me irritable oftentimes. Nobody wants to be around me. I don't want to be around myself. I fail so often at being what I think God desires for me to be. I am a nobody. I have been a social misfit my entire life. In any group I end up being all alone. The biggest local independent Baptist church on Guam (just 5 minutes from me) rejects me like Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, refusing to let me play in any of their reindeer games...

When You Have To Stand Alone For God (MP3 sermon by Pastor Jack Hyles)

Thank God That He Uses Misfits Like Me!

Like Rudolph the reindeer with the bright glowing nose, whose peers mocked and made fun of him for being different, I know the pain of soul caused by being “despised and rejected” by the local Harvest Baptist Church on Guam for my bright King James Bible only position, and I'm not allowed to play in any of their reindeer games (church activities and services). Jesus knows the pain and loneliness that I am going through, for He endured the same rejection from his peers. Isaiah 53:3, “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.” Jesus' own biological half-brothers didn't believe that He was the Savior. John 7:5, “For neither did his brethren believe in him.” Of course, Jesus had no earthly father, for God Himself in Heaven is Jesus' biological Father! Joseph at a later time, after Christ was miraculously virgin born, became Jesus' Dad who raised Him.

I sure feel like Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer (you can freely watch the classic 1966 film here), which was one of my favorite movies as a boy. I cannot hide my inspired King James Bible only nose, and don't want to! Nearly everyone today merely goes along to get along with the apostate evangelical crowd. I am decidedly different, I buck the trend. I am the monkey wrench in the gears of ecumenism. I am the loner. I am a modern-day John the Baptist (my middle name “John” is named after John the Baptist). Matthew 11:11 says that John was the greatest born among women. Perhaps I am the lowest born among men. Who knows...lol! No doubt my many critics and enemies would agree! I don't want to conform to the accepted “norms” of new-evangelicalism. I don't want to be like everybody else, who are indifferent, ungrateful, snobby, cliquish, cultish and cold-hearted. I am an open-hearted loving person. I don't hold grudges. I am generous and like to give and help others who are in need. What would Jesus do? I don't want to go along with a dozen different Bible versions being promoted in the church. God only authored ONE SACRED BOOK!

My neck pain is unbearable sometimes. Even with the 80 mg per day of Oxycontin, and some Percocet, the pain is unbearable at times. I woke up this morning with extreme burning pain in my neck. There is NOTHING I can do about it. I want to take more pain medication, but I have to wait until the designated time. Unfortunately, you cannot just keep popping pain pills until the pain goes away. It doesn't work like that. The chronic neck pain stifles my ambition to want to go anywhere, do anything, or be around people.  I have to make myself go walking. I wear 39 pounds of body weights when I go walking (the chest vest alone is 20 pounds), which does aggravate my neck some, but so does everything else! I just bought some 3 pound wrist weights, and I have 2 pound ankle weights. and then an 8 pound weight belt. That's 38, but the scale says 39 pounds. The rain got into my vehicle from a bad window seal, and the weight vest got wet, so I think that added a pound of weight to it. The weights feel good on my body, giving me exercise.

It doesn't matter what I do or don't do, the toothache-like neck pain is here to stay (it's been 15 years so far since it started in 2004). I also endure radiating razorblade-like pain into both sides of my body, so I might as well make myself have whatever life I can manage in spite of the cervical osteoarthritis (which is what 2 of the 8 neurosurgeons said are causing my neck pain, and stenosis and radiculopathy). Here are some photos of me when I lost all my weight in 2017 and 2018. This year I have fought to keep it off, but I have been losing the battle, because I lost my motivation. I wanted to find a wife, but didn't, so I'm just frustrated. The last picture below was of me and my grandson this past Thursday at the new Payless store on Guam.

Above is an x-ray of the titanium plate and 6 surgical screws in my neck at C5-C6-C7.

Below is an old thermal scan of my neck. A person can look fine outwardly, but you
cannot see what they feel. This picture shows that something is definitely going on in my neck.

The above photo is a rare dog with colored teeth. I didn't know dogs could have colored teeth!
 

I hope you liked those photos. The above picture of me and my Grandson, Luigi, was taken last Thursday on October 17th, 2019. I love my family and thank God for them! God is so good! I have no complaints. I used to make mention of my health afflictions all the time online, but stopped because I sounded like a broken record. I just deal with it, like a man does. My neck pain is so bad that my teeth throb in pain. The pain radiates into my facial area. I was told that there are no nerves going from my neck into my face, by a mean white doctor when I visited Murfreesboro in 2013, but he is a idiot. If the pain is bad enough in your neck, it will radiate into your facial area. I KNOW! Still, I am so blessed compared to what other people are suffering through.

As much as I wish I had a church to go to, sitting through a church service is torture for me, with burning pain in my neck, and burning throughout my nervous system. I only pray and wish God would take my bodily afflictions and give them to the professed Christian people who shun me away like a disease, so they could know what I am suffering through, for simply being right by telling THE TRUTH. I told the truth about the corrupt modern Bible versions. I told the truth about false prophets' Martin Luther and John MacArthur. I told the truth about the counterfeit gospel of Lordship Salvation. I am not the bad guy, the Devil is!

Kindly, I don't want to be like one of these shallow Bob Jones University (BJU) graduates today, who do nothing but fill 18" of pew each Sunday, collect a paycheck for working at a church or religious school, and look down in their Pharisaical pride upon a broken and humble sinner like me. Psalm 109:4-5, “For my love they are my adversaries: but I give myself unto prayer. And they have rewarded me evil for good, and hatred for my love.” All I did was tell THE TRUTH in 2014 at Harvest Baptist Church on Guam, for which I have been shunned from attending church since. Ironically, their church theme for 2015 was—“Study to shew thyself approved.” Sadly, they don't really mean what they say, making me out to be the bad guy for studying to shew myself approved UNTO GOD. If you were in my shoes, you'd feel like Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer too. Oh yes you would!

One of the 'Five Good Emperors' of Rome was Marcus Aurelius (121-180 AD). He was a brilliant thinker and wrote a dozen books. You can read his famous writings in a collection called “Meditations” today, which were written in 167 AD (nearly 2,000 years ago). ...

“The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.” —Marcus Aurelius, a quote from “Meditations” (167 AD)

I think for myself. I don't want to follow the crowd, because they are wrong over 90% of the time. The picture to the above right is so truthful! The picture perfectly depicts most Americans today, who are spoon-fed by the ungodly media. We live in a nation of fools today. Proverb 16:5, “Every one that is proud in heart is an abomination to the LORD: though hand join in hand, he shall not be unpunished.” I love Harvest's church theme for 2014, which was from Genesis 50:20—“God meant it for good!” Yes, He sure does! Whatever suffering you may have going on in your life dear reader, God is allowing it to be there. Job 1:9, “Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, Doth Job fear God for nought? Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he hath on every side? thou hast blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is increased in the land.” What saith the Scripture? Psalm 34:7, “The angel of the LORD encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them.” Amen! Nothing can ever happen in the life of any Christian without God's approval.

I often wonder why God loves me? I seem to mess everything up in my life. I can't find a wife. The Christian women I have reached out to at Harvest (at different times) with affectionate letters and gifts rejected me, and told me never to contact them again. I had bought a very beautiful care bear that read: “I Love You ____” with the woman's name embroidered on it, but she gave the first bear back, so I never got a chance to give her the second bear. So I was brokenhearted and put it into Post Net's donation box for the poor. It is painful in one's soul to love someone, and your heart leaps in happiness every time you see them, but they don't want you. It is a pain like no other. The local independent church (full of Bob Jones University alumni) don't want me (and I suppose it's for the best in the Lord, lest I be corrupted). I am caught betwixt my desire for fellowship with a local independent Baptist church family, and my love for THE TRUTH. No Christian should have to choose between their church family and truth! A hurting dog barks!

What saith the Scripture? 2nd Corinthians 12:15, “And I will very gladly spend and be spent for you; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved.” I know exactly how the apostle Paul felt. The closer you draw to God, the more you will experience and learn that “the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us” (Romans 5:5). This is the blessed “fruit” of the indwelling Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-25). The Bible teaches that NOTHING can substitute for God's LOVE toward others! You may be the most skilled public orator, or the most successful businessman, or the most talented musician, or the most gifted singer, or the most physically attractive person, or the most effective church administrator, or the most inspiring teacher—but if you lack God's unconditional LOVE for all humanity, you have nothing (1st Corinthians 13:1-7). Love always seeks the good of others! If we THINK thoughts of love, then we will LIVE a life of love.

Sadly, I've been banned from even attending the church services or prayer meeting at Harvest Baptist Church! I'm just some nut with an obsession over the inspiration of the King James Bible! Praise God, let it be so! Naturally, I feel like Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer! I know how Jesus felt to be despised and rejected of men! Isaiah 53:3, “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.” Jesus just wanted to be loved. That is what all people want, just to be loved! Pastor Jack Hyles said: “Happy is the man who has a friend; happier is the man who is a friend; happiest is the man who both has and is a friend.” I am going to BE A FRIEND no matter what! That makes me happier, but not happiest!

I have become a pretty good chef over the years, because I have lived alone as a single man since 2006. I make great Chicago-style deep dish pizza, and cook an awesome beef stir-fry with lots of fresh vegetables. So often I wish I could share my delicious meals with a wife, but the dogs love my cooking instead...lol. I have some stray dogs that love me! They get to eat all my scraps, which are better than some people's main course! By God's grace, I love cooking as much as I do eating! I have asked the Lord to let me work as a chef in Heaven. I believe we will all have work to do in eternity, which we will enjoy. I also want to be involved much with music. Thanks be to God, I can play any stringed instrument, and it is my passion, although due to my depression I haven't played much lately. I have been praying more instead, as the Bible teaches in James 5:13, “Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms.” When I pray, I often claim Romans 8:26, “for we know not what we should pray for as we ought.” God promises in Romans 8:26 to help us when we pray, to fill in the blanks, able to discern the thoughts and intents of our heart (Hebrews 4:12-13). The holy God of true Israel (which doesn't exist yet as a nation) and the inspired King James Bible is so beautiful, precious, awesome and greatly to be praised!!!

My neck this morning hurts so bad. It is a burning pain that feels like the worst toothache times ten, where the bone is located in back of my neck! Oh, for the pretribulation Rapture! People don't understand what physical pain does to a person. That is why I stay home as much as possible, where I am safe from people. I am a homebody anyway. Without my prescription pain medications, I literally cry and close my eyes when I talk to people, in order to focus on what they are saying. Thankfully, I have better days where the pain is not as bad. Lately it's been bothering me in the mornings for some reason. The last three nights I woke up almost every hour, with sharp radiating pain down the left side of my body. I bought a therapeutic twin bed in 2009 after my first neck surgery, which allows me to elevate my head or feet. Elevating my head a bit helps me sleep, and is a big blessing. Usually it's my right side that feels the radiating pain. Even with 10 mg of prescription Ambien each night, it doesn't always help.

Despite all my bodily afflictions, loneliness, sorrow and inexplicable pain of soul, I have peace like a river and have never loved the Lord as much as I do now. This old world is growing darker each day, “But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day” (Proverb 4:18). I am so thankful to God for my website ministry, and for using a misfit like me who his entire life has never been able to “fit in” with the crowd. I truly am like John the Baptist, who lived alone in the Wilderness. I do not claim to be a good Christian. I have my faults, but I am sincere and love others with God's love. My constant chronic neck pain keeps me humble. I get emotional sometimes because of my pain, and I am a passionate person to begin with, but God knows that I love more today than I ever have. I just want to be a blessing to others...

“Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can.
At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can.” ―John Wesley

Some of the worst believers are those who have never gone into what is often regarded as “deep sin.” But there is a sweet humble spirit that often exists in a person who has hit rock bottom in life. Luke 7:47, “Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.” There is a direct correlation between one's level of love for God and man, and their perception of how big of a sinner they are! I feel sorry for self-righteous Christians, who have never in their own mind gone deep into sin; therefore, they are quick to condemn others who sin, they lack compassion for the fallen, and shun those who have sinned and try to come back to church. Always remember—But by the grace of God, there go you and I! Psalm 106:6, “We have sinned with our fathers, we have committed iniquity, we have done wickedly.” Pastor Jack Hyles beautifully said: “First Baptist Church of Hammond will become a great church when we stop saying, 'He has sinned' and 'She has sinned' and we start saying 'We have sinned'.” WE HAVE SINNED DEAR FRIEND!!!

Evangelist Phil Kidd in this MP3 sermon titled: “Why People Come Back To Church” says: PEOPLE ARE DESPERATE TO BE LOVED! I AM!!! I know the lonely feeling of wanting to be loved, but no one loves me. Psalm 142:4, “I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul.” The ungodly world expects people to “deal with it,” “grow up and be an adult,” and then they go commit suicide one day as a way of escape. You never tell someone to “man up” or “deal with it” as an adult. A fool does that. A hurting person needs love, and there is no substitute. You wont find love in a shrink's office. You won't find love in the nightclubs or bars. You won't find love at the beach. You won't find love in the ungodly U.S. courts. Sadly, you won't find love in most churches today. I have love, because God lives in my soul and I love others, but I have no one to love me back. It gets lonely. I am praying for God to give me a loving Christian wife. That is all I know to do. I am a misfit.

One day, God just might need a Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer type misfit like me, to do an important job! Come to think about it, that is exactly what I have been doing for the past 17 years with my website ministry. God uses misfits and nobodies like me!!! As Brother Hyles said: “I know I am inferior, but I do not have an inferiority complex!”

God needs people like me, who take a stand. Ezekiel 22:30, “And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me for the land, that I should not destroy it: but I found none.” The Bible says that God sought for “A MAN” (singular), not a church group or a pulpit committee. God does not call congregations, He calls a man! God needs nobodies like me, who depend on Him completely, because I am so weak in my soul that without God I could never accomplish anything.

2nd Corinthians 12:9, “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” My life is such a mess. My marriage is gone. My home is gone. My health is wanting. But the Lord says to me—“MY STRENGTH IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS”! My weakness is Christ's strength in my life! So I rejoice for my burdens, health afflictions, loneliness, heartache, and messed-up life's situation, so that God's power can rest upon me as He promised. My life is as a vapour that will be here today and gone tomorrow. Psalms 144:3-4, “LORD, what is man, that thou takest knowledge of him! or the son of man, that thou makest account of him! Man is like to vanity: his days are as a shadow that passeth away.”

I try to lose myself in my website ministry, forgetting about my problems. It works sometimes. I focus on helping other people with their problems instead of my own. Nobody can help me except God. I've already met with 8 surgeons over 15 years and they couldn't help make me better. Unfortunately, I've met many abusive doctors and nurses who didn't care about me. One of the doctors has been sued by the California state court for multiple crimes, defrauding several dozen surgical patients in San Diego, including myself. They treated me like garbage as a patient! People can be so dishonest, rotten and cruel. God will be their judge. Matthew 18:7, “Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!” My faith is solely in the Lord Jesus Christ, Who died on the cross to pay for my sins, was buried, and bodily resurrected three days later. No one can help me. Only God can find me a wife. Proverb 19:14b, “a prudent wife is from the LORD.” Job 13:15, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.”

“When you get dissed by men—the whole reason God allowed you to be dissed—is because He didn't want you to fit in! He don't want you to fit in with the world. He don't want you to fit in with the rest of the group! He don't want you to be just like them! 'Cause there is something special about you! There's an assignment for you. There's a call for you. There's an anointing for your life. God does not want you to fit in!” —Pastor John K. Jenkins Sr.; a quote from the sermon titled: Being Dissed | MP3

Christian Believers Already Have Eternal Life

If you are a redeemed child of God, you are God's prized possession. 1st Corinthians 6:20, “For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.” That “price” was the precious blood of Jesus Christ (1st Peter 1:18-19). I belong to God. My body belongs to God. My soul belongs to God. Everything I own belongs to God. My tongue belongs to God. My mind belongs to God. When I give God some money, I am just letting go of what is already His. If someone hurts me, or does good to me, they have done it to Jesus (Matthew 25:40, 45). Contrary to the ungodly world who idolize and live for money, the inspired Word of God says that our burdens, problems and sufferings in life (i.e., things which test our Christian faith) are far more valuable than money...

1st Peter 1:7-9, “That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory: Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls.”

Dear friend, if you are a born-again believer you already have eternal life! Do you understand that? God didn't promise to give us eternal life in the future, but right now! John 6:47, “Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life.” If you believe, you presently posses the gift of eternal life, which you can NEVER lose for any reason. Eternal life is your assurance of salvation. These are not two separate doctrines, but one and the same! What an awesome God and Savior!!!!!!! Psalm 106:21, “They forgat God their saviour, which had done great things in Egypt.” Don't ever forget your Savior!!!

The lost and dying heathen world seek immortality through science. I wrote a whole article about the creepy world of Cryonic Storage of Humans. They turn your dead corpse upside down and freeze you in liquid nitrogen, expecting at some future point to restore your body. The Cryonics Institute state their creepy intentions as:

“Our mission is to extend human lifespans by preserving the body using existing cryogenic technologies - with the goal of revival by future science.”

SOURCE: https://www.cryonics.org

As laughable as all this is to the Christian who already possesses immorality through faith in Jesus Christ, this sick sin-cursed world takes cryonics very seriously. Please read: “Artificial Life Spawns Billion-Dollar Industry.” The Lord Himself told us to “SEARCH THE SCRIPTURES” to find how to obtain eternal life, not sign a contract for Alcor to freeze our dead body in liquid nitrogen for future use. John 5:39, “Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me.” What saith the Scripture? 1st John 5:11, “And this is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.” If you are trusting the only begotten Son of God as your Savior, you have eternal life. John 3:15, “That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life.” I'd rather have God's solemn promise of eternal life through faith in His only begotten Son, then to hope that one day mortal men (who cannot even fix the world's problems) will put my body back together with science!

I really love and appreciate Michael P. Bowen's Christian testimony and transparency in his beautiful 2009 book titled: “I NEVER KNEW YOU” (.PDF). He dedicates the book to his Christian mother. Michael credits Pastor Hank Lindstrom for enlightening him to the simplicity of the Gospel in a helpful sermon called: “HOW PERMANENT IS YOUR SALVATION.” I had never heard of the sermon until I read about it in Michael's book, but I searched the internet diligently to find it, and when I did I made it a popular MP3. Everyone ought to hear this important TRUTH! Brother Bowen shares his own personal grief, loss and consequent depression from numerous failed attempts to find a wife. I get encouraged every time I read his book! Michael relates his own painful experiences to the Gospel, showing that in eternity Christ will dump anyone who trusts in a counterfeit plan of salvation. I hope that you will read the book online, or you can order a hardcopy (which I keep in my car and read every time I do my laundry at the Laundromat). God bless Michael Bowen!

“Every time you get rejected, that's God's way of saying: I don't want you to fit in!” —Pastor John K. Jenkins Sr.; a quote from the sermon titled: “Being Dissed” | MP3

Christians Should Stand For God in These Perilous Times

Proverb 8:13, “The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.”

Something is wrong with many of the churches today. Anyone who believes that homosexuals have “a right” to get married, and teach the LGBTQ agenda to children in the schools, and for homosexuals to adopt children, is PROUD IN HEART and an abomination to the Lord. A wise person cares about what GOD THINKS! Proverb 22:4, “By humility and the fear of the LORD are riches, and honour, and life.”

In America, we are free to live any way we want within the confines of the law, and we are not to infringe upon the freedom of others; but that does not mean it is okay to live any way we want, if it goes contrary to the Holy Bible. God has every right to tell us how to live. Any morally-minded person, recognizes that the King James Bible was authored by a good and holy God. It is hardened sinners who despise God and hate His Word, refusing to come to the light to be saved. John 3:20-21, “For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.”

“I've been preaching a long time, and I've watched a lot of things happen. To me the saddest thing that I've watched in my life, apart from my own country going to the Devil nearly, has been the change of preachers and churches. I find myself amazed and stunned with near disbelief, as I see men who once stood who don't stand anymore ... I know every week I cry some, I mean cry, I mean tear cry, because of preachers who are turning.”

SOURCE: Pastor Jack Hyles, from the 1972 sermon titled, “I SHALL NOT BE MOVED”

Brother Lester Roloff (1914-1982) rightly states...

Folks, the end time's come. The field is white, the laborers are few. We have the greatest opportunity of any generation, that ever lived, to reach desperate souls for the Lord Jesus Christ! —Brother Lester Roloff, from the classic MP3 sermon, “JESUS IS LORD!!!”

I cannot comprehend why God would love such a WORM as I, but I KNOW that He does, and I love Him for it. That is exactly how it is supposed to work. 1st John 4:19, “We love him, because he first loved us.” 1st John 3:16, “Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” We love God because He first loved us. By the way, this is biblical proof that the Calvinist heresy of Limited Atonement (that Christ only died for believers) is a LIE! We love God because HE FIRST loved us! God doesn't choose who to love or hate. God is no respecter of person. God loves everybody, and Jesus died on the cross for EVERYONE! We love Jesus because He gave His life for us on the cross. We are all unique to God. There are people whom only you can reach with the Gospel, that no one else can do. What a precious Savior!!!

“It doesn't even matter who's right, it's what's right that's important!”
—Pastor Danny Castle, from the sermon “100% WILLING.”

Philippians 3:2, “Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the concision.”

“Faith is the only righteous thing that I can do!”
—Pastor Jack Hyles, a quote from the MP3 sermon titled: “God's Reversal Of Psalms 51”

END OF ARTICLE

John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

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