I just want to thank everyone for your patience with my emotional rants in
my writings at times. I guess I have some of Alex Jones in me...lol. I have
always loved watching
and listening to Alex Jones at
Infowars. I realized one day that all my favorite preachers, musicians and
people are intense. Lloyd Green (born
1937) is my favorite musician, who I had the privilege of meeting in 1995 in
St. Louis, Missouri at the International Steel Guitar Convention. I love Lloyd
and pray for him often. He worked as a studio musician in Nashville, recording
steel guitar on over 10,000 recordings over 30 years, including all of the Don
Williams records. I cherish letters that we exchanged many years ago when I was
starting to learn to play the pedal steel guitar.
Here's the steel guitar recordings I've made in 2020.
Pastor Jack
Hyles is also intense, and so am I. God made me that way. I love Brother
Hyles and pray for his family, which I know he would want. I love all my web
visitors, who've stuck with me all these years.
I fell in love with a young lady across the street from me in 2017, and she has had my heart since. I saw her today and my heart leapt, as always. I am not obsessed with her, I am in love with her, there's a big difference. You can choose who you love, but not who you are in love with. She reads my writings. She is considerably younger than me, but my youngest daughter is married to a man older than I am. Pastor Keith Gomez is an inspiration to me in Elgin, Illinois. He's a Hyles-Anderson graduate too. His wife went to Heaven due to cancer, and in his 60's he married a young woman in her 20's. That tells me I'm not crazy for loving a younger woman! Or maybe I'm crazy and I just don't know it yet...lol. I'll let you all decide! I am sorry for some of the harsh things I say at times, I just get frustrated. I shouldn't have said she had some “losers” for friends the other day. I have already removed those comments from my article. The truth is I feel like the loser not having her in my life. I so much miss and love my Harvest Baptist Church family on Guam. Since our division over doctrine and the Bible, it has eaten me up inside with loneliness and pain since 2015, because I hadn't been so happy in a long time, during the year that I attended Harvest in 2014. I have suffered much personal loss, hardships and pain over the past 20 years, and I'm just a hurting redeemed sinner. God knows that I am not bitter, I am just frustrated. Jesus said to whom much is forgiven, the same loveth much (Luke 7:47). I am just a forgiven sinner, and I love everyone. This life is going so fast.
When I see my Harvest neighbours, and I smile and wave at youse guys, I am very sincere. I have no hatred or anger toward anyone, I'm just stuck in life. I take 80 mg a day of Oxycontin, which tremendously helps alleviate my neck pain. I have been on disability for 12 years since 2008. I like to go walking, despite my afflictions, to stay healthy as much as I can, but I have horrible burning in my nerves throughout the day (better and worse at different times). I wish you could all know what that feels like. You can read up on radiculopathy and stenosis to understand it more if you'd like. Albeit, these afflictions became the “new norm” for me 10 years ago, after my second failed neck surgery. I praise God for the health I have, and voice no complaints at all. God is always good. I try to enjoy life anyhow, making the best of the worst, and looking for the Lord's blessed return. Now if I can just find a Christian woman to marry who wants damaged goods! Marriage is two people making a life for each other.
It gets complicated, because everything I say about Harvest being “a cult” is to an extent very true. I sure hate calling them that. God knows I don't enjoy criticizing Harvest Baptist Church. I'd love for nothing more than to remove all my criticisms of their church from the internet. I absolutely won't remove my preaching against Bob Jones University though, because they are preaching another gospel. Harvest is the tail of the dog, BJU is the head. There's no need for me to preach against Harvest. This is my way of protesting that they haven't allowed me to come back! I wish they could know what I have suffered through, and how lonely I have been all these many years living alone. I cannot even put it into words. If I ever do find a wife, she will be more than precious to me every moment of every day.
I don't expect all my web visitors to understand, but I think most do. This is a family matter between me and Harvest, and whether they like it or not, Harvest became my church family in 2014. When they drove me out and abandoned me since 2015, it was like my own family betrayed me. I am still drifting in life, unsure what to do next (like everybody else). I'd move back to the United States if I had a place to move, but I don't know anybody and it is overwhelming for me to move all by myself. I have my youngest daughter, son-in-law and 6 year old grandson on Guam. That is all I have and I thank God for them. I need a wife to love and care for. In God's time, He will find me someone. My heart is set on the woman across the street for now. I feel like an idiot, since she doesn't seem to feel the same about me, but my heart is set on her. I cannot explain it, I just know how I feel. I need a sweetheart!
When I attended Harvest, some people were saved, and others were not. Some people believed in Lordship Salvation, which was the official position of the church when I attended in 2014. To the same extent that Harvest uses the Alexandrian Bible revisions (i.e., the Westcott and Hort translations), they are part of the Alexandrian cult. I don't agree with Dr. Peter Ruckman's position on Double Inspiration. That is, Dr. Ruckman thinks the King James translators wrote under new inspiration from God. I don't believe that. They were working with inspired texts already, and gave us a faithful translation in English, which is also inspired. Yet, Dr. Ruckman does a brilliant job exposing the Alexandrian cult.
To the extent that any church preaches Lordship Salvation, that you must “turn from yours sins” to be saved, they are a cult. I apologize so much for my harsh comments, rude remarks and seeming hatred; but I do so in knowledge of the truth, using strong language as a tool to emphasize and punctuate my writings. I mean no ill intent, truly. 2nd Corinthians 11:6, “But though I be rude in speech, yet not in knowledge; but we have been throughly made manifest among you in all things.” I don't apologize for my preaching or stand, but for perhaps going overboard at times. I probably shouldn't call people “bastards” or “devil dog preachers,” but that is just my hatred of false doctrine, never hatred of people. I love everybody! I don't and won't allow myself ever to hate people, because that is a sin (Ephesians 4:30-32; Matthew 5:44). A hurting dog barks. I often think of Philippians 2:13, “For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.” Did God work everything out the way it is, so I could preach against counterfeit Bible revisions and Lordship Salvation? I don't know, but the thought crosses my mind.
I tend to get more emotional at night for some reason. I think most people do. I often wake up the next morning and wonder what I wrote and uploaded the night before while half asleep...lol. Oh my! I have to be careful not to give into my emotions. The pain medications help ease my pain, but also tend to make me happy and more emotionally sensitive. Pain drugs are good stuff! I'm being silly of course. I'm being careful as I write this to say what I want to say. I have written love letter type stuff in articles and uploaded them, for the woman across the street, but removed them hours later because I felt silly. The problem is the fallout between me and Harvest. They count me their enemy and in so doing have made themselves my enemy. This is all their doing. I am praying about the matter of what to do next in life. We don't know what a day may bring (Proverbs 27:1). I keep hoping the Lord will make the decision for me. I'm not sure where to go from here. Sometimes I want to be anywhere but here, because of the situation with Harvest, but my love for my special friend compels me to want to stay. I thank God for His abundant blessings!
I just wanted to let everybody know that I appreciate your patience. It is strange writing about a woman that I am in love with, that doesn't seem to love me back, but she sure knows I'm here. I'm just a fool in love. I worry that one day I'll see her in a wedding dress, married to some other bum. I don't want to think about it. I want to be the bum she marries! But if not, the Lord is always with me, who promised never to leave or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5). I love you all and thank you for reading my articles. God knows that all I've ever wanted to do is help others in the Lord. I've never made a penny, and never will. This is a labor of love for God, truth and people. I don't claim to be a good Christian, but you won't find a more sincere man who's pure of heart. I think my favorite Bible character is Nathaniel, in whom Jesus said was no guile. Nathaniel was real people! John 1:47, “Jesus saw Nathanael coming to him, and saith of him, Behold an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile!” I want to be just like Nathanial. I LOVE YOU! Jesus is precious!!!
